It's Not Rocket Surgery

In case it isn't clear in the picture, the shirt this grocery store cashier is wearing says:

"Stupiditys Not a Crime
Your Free To Go"

Were do we start? How about "Why on earth would an employer allow this guy to wear a shirt that is insulting to his customers?"

Next, we can move on to the spell-check portion of our program: There are two missing apostrophes and one mis-spelled contraction on the shirt. Now maybe it is supposed to mis-spelled as part of the joke. If so, then the joke is obviously on the buyer and wearer of the garment.

Sax in the City?

I was looking over the Charleston Convention and Visitors Bureau website and saw this photograph. It struck me as odd, to say the least. First of all, I have lived in this town for forty years and I have never, I repeat, NEVER seen a saxaphone player playing along Capitol Street. On occasion I've seen a harmonica player and that guy who plays the squeeze box near the library, but never a scene like this. This looks like it is either 1) Photoshopped, or 2) Staged.

Either way it doesn't seem to be a photo that captures Charleston's essence. With so many authentic treasures in our little city it seems that the CVB could come up with a better image .

Customer Non-Service Week

I had two episodes this week that capture the essence of customer non-service.

1. Charleston Post Office - On Tuesday at 10:30 AM I walked into the main lobby of the post office to find that the only the window open for service was the one inside the stamp store. There were 15 people waiting in line, many of whom looked exasperated as they stood holding heavy boxes they intended to ship. But the real pièce de résistance was the perky girl postal worker who was asking questions of all the patrons for a survey on - get this - CUSTOMER SATISFACTION! It seemed like the management had decided to herd all the cattle into one chute so the survey would be easier to perform.


2. The picture above requires some explanation: Today at the Huntington Bank drive in bank on the corner of Leon Sullivan Way and Lee Street there were three drive through lanes open PLUS one inside walk-in window. When I was there at around 1:15 there was only one teller trying to keep up with all four windows. But as I waited for my turn at the drive through I noticed that there were two bank employees walking to the cars as they waited delivering cans of soft drinks and candy bars. Soon they came my way and I rolled down my window so I could talk to them. "Would you like a candy bar or a soft drink?" they asked politely. "What's the occassion?" I inquired. I was not prepared for the answer: "It's Customer Appreciation Day!" they replied cheerfully. I thanked them for their offer and told them that THIS customer would appreciate it if they would go inside and help out with the workload. They laughed and walked back to their table of goodies. I continued to wait in line and watch them greet other customers with their appreciation. My drive through bank visit took over 20 minutes to complete. I felt really bad for the lady inside the box but she remained cheerful and polite in spite of it all. I wish I could say the same for myself.

Competition

This strikes me as odd.


A FedEx drop box outside the main post office, on post office property.

It's tantamount to having a WalMart kiosk inside the vestibule at Target. No wonder they keep raising the price of stamps.

Homeless People With Cell Phones

I frequently travel the circuit from Smith Street, near Capitol Market, to the main post office via Leon Sullivan Way. On this route I pass three facilities that serve Charleston's homeless population: The Roark-Sullivan Lifeway Center, Crossroads Shelter and Covenant house. Over the past few months I have noticed more and more folks that appear to be among the "homeless population" talking on cell phones. This intrigues me for many reasons.

First, just the practical logistics of buying a cell phone would seem to be insurmountable for a homeless person. How do they pay for it? Where is the bill sent? Of course there are pre-paid phones, like TracFone, that you can buy without an address or a credit card, but even these require you to add air time via land-line phone or internet. But according to a Raleigh, NC paper, "Cell phones are increasingly popular among the Triangle's homeless. With public pay phones quietly disappearing and prices on cell phones dropping, many homeless people say that it just makes sense."

OK, so it makes sense. But is seems to me that if someone who has no home and no address can figure out how to own a cell phone that they should definitely have the ability to find gainful employment and a permanent residence.

Which brings me to the second intriguing thought: Perhaps many of the people that we see on the streets downtown and we label as "homeless" aren't homeless at all. It's difficult to know, really. I remember years ago hearing a rumor that our own Bill Dunn (Aqualung) actually had a mansion on Kanawha Avenue in Kanawha City (the urban legend said that someone followed him for several days until, at last, he parked his shopping cart on the East End, walked across the 35th Street bridge and serruptitiously let himself into the house via the back door). I know of one man named Harry that lives in a group home in Dunbar. I see him walking all over the Kanawha Valley and he can often be found sitting and chatting with the "homeless" folks under the Leon Sullivan Way exit ramp. Most people think he is homeless, but he is most definitely not.

So where do I go from here? Perhaps we should ask people that are truly homeless to identify themselves as such. Perhaps a large red "H" affixed to their clothes would help.

More Bizarre Cavalierisms

Tony Cavalier said last night that we would be entering a "Goldilocks weather pattern. Not to hot, not too cold, but just right."

An anonymous comment on last week's post reminded me of Tony's oft-used term "scat showers." Sheesh, can you imagine? I think I recall a Stephen King short story to that effect.

The Shrinking Regatta

Perhaps a metaphor for the entire festival, the once GIANT video screen that flanked the stage at Sternwheel Regatta concerts has shrunk until it's roughly the size of a big screen TV. I recall concerts of the past, like The Beach Boys and Ray Charles, when I was unable to get a clear view of the stage at least I could be sure to see them on the huge video screens. Times, they are a changin'.

This picture was snapped on Sunday evening just before the Charlie Daniels concert, during "Rubber Soul's" performance (which, by the way, if you read about in the Charleston Gazette's review you would have thought was "Windjammer").

A Grand Entrance

This is the beautiful entrance to The Smallridge Building on Quarrier Street. My first job was working for the store that shared the building. The store's entrance was one door east. The store is still in business today in another location on the south side of the river. Anyone know the name of the store?

Yes, Virginia, Dual Loyalties Do Exist

I became embroiled in a contraversy today over at The Film Geek's blog. One of his regular commenters really took exception to a remark I made about - let me be careful here - the way WVU fans view Marshall fans as - I'm just reporting here so spare me the flames - obnoxious. The average Marshall fan is very, Very, VERY sensitive about criticism from people who are partial to the large university upstate and they often become very, Very, VERY ebullient, much to the glee of the needlers. So when I tried to explain this I was attacked by Off Route 75 and falsley accused as being a guy "from the University of Southern Pittsburgh at Morgantown (USPAM)" , having a "holier than thou" attitude and even accused of being Mitch Vingle!

When I tried to defend myself and explain I have no connection to WVU, OR75 just started coughing and scoffing. But the kicker came when I said that I root for both Marshall and WVU . OR75 told me that I was lying because that there was no one in West Virginia that actually roots for both teams. I know better.

Since OR75's profile indicates he's from Kenova, I know that his view is defintely obscured by his location. If you were to look at the state of West Virginia county by county, you would find that most counties would have a dominant loyalty to one of schools, but some would be very much balanced in their allegience. I'm not saying that there aren't pockets of feircely loyal zealots in every county, there absolutely are, but every county has a dominant loyalty. Here's the way I'd break it down. Counties for Marshall in green, WVU in blue and pink counties are those I feel are pretty much divided down the middle - and in those counties especially reside a lot of folks who truly do pull for both teams:Now I know that I'm going to get blasted for the overwhelming amount of blue counties, but I calls 'em like I sees 'em. Marshall folks should be proud because Kanawha County only recently (maybe in the last 10-15 years) went into the pink column. In fact, if you'd cut Kanawha along an east/west line the wesern half would probably go green. Marshall has a much wider fan base around the state than ever before. If they continue to be successful that will only grow larger.

I'm looking forward to the game. I will root for whoever has the ball and be satisified with the outcome unless it's a tie. No, really OR75, I will. I swear.
I mean it.
Sincerely.
No Joke.
True.
Honest.
Promise.
Take it to the bank.
Earnestly.
Solemnly.

No, really.

The Latest Cavalierism

Channel 3 weatherman Tony Cavalier said last night that "Saturday temperatures will be hot and tangy." He was trying to play up the Taste of Charleston.

In his own quirky mind I'm sure it made sense, but it just made me go "Huh?"

The Charleston Labor Day Weekend Festival

You really can't call it the Sterwheel Regatta anymore, now can you? I heard Sharon King, director of the festival formerly known as Regatta, on the radio yesterday trying to sound upbeat and chipper about a sternwheel-less regatta. She blames high fuel prices on the absence of the boats that give the festival its name. Look at the schedule and notice the dearth (maybe "death" is more apt) of river activities at this year's festival. Sad.

I remember standing on the South Side Bridge when I was 12 years old watching the big boats come across the finish line at the Second Annual Sternwheel Regatta in 1972. I didn't realize then how big the festival would become, and many years later as I stood on the levee with a few thousand of my closest friends watching and listening to The Beach Boys I wondered how much bigger it could get. It was a big deal for several years, then I think it got so big that it scared the city leaders and they took steps to scale it back - way back. Back so far that it doesn't even include sternwheelers anymore.

This year's FestivAll remided me of the early days of the Regatta. I hope its organizers learn from the Regatta and not allow it to suffer the same dinosaur-like rise and fall as Regatta.

Appalachian Power Park and "Your West Virginia Power!"

Last night I went to the ballgame with Stanton. See his comments on the hot dogs here.

While he was busy grousing about the state of the hot dog affairs at the park, I turned my attention to the park itself, the people and the team. The very first observation I have is that they should have a section of the park designated for people to sit who actually want to watch the damn game!

I was there to watch the game and it seems to me that if someone goes to all the trouble of buying a ticket and going to the park that they are interested in watching the game. Not so! When I found my seat and settled in to watch the action, I was dismayed to find that seated directly between me and home plate was a very large mother of several children. This woman was in constant motion. She would stand up and take a picture of her little darlings about every 30 seconds. In between snapshots she would stand up to let the kids get by her to go to the concession stand. I counted nine trips from the four kids in two innings. Even though she was not paying any attention at all to the action on the field she still managed to stand up every time the pitcher went into his wind up. For the first two innings I never saw a single swing by any batter. At first it was an annoyance, but the longer it went on the more fascinated I became by this family's behavior. Why did they pay for tickets if they had no interest in the game? I watched them, all of them and not mom nor the kids nor the father paid any attention to the game for the two innings I sat there. I finally gave up and looked for another seat.

For a few minutes I stood on the concourse behind home plate and watched Rod Blackstone, the hardest working deputy mayor in show business, do his toastman act. It hasn't changed in many years (I SAY "PIZZA", YOU SAY "RIA") but is still pretty entertaining. It's also kind of embarrassing to have the City's number two man making an idiot of himself every night, but he was the Toastman before he was the deputy mayor.

After I got my fill of T-O-A-S-T, I wandered over to the souvenir shop to check out the Power merchandise. They have quite a bit larger selection than I expected and the prices were higher than they should be, but hey, whatever the market will bear, right? It's the American Way. But who is buying this stuff? I didn't see a single piece of merchandise go out the door while I was there and I didn't even see any kids carrying around souvenir bats or wearing hats.

All in all, the ballpark proved once again to be a great place to hang out on a nice evening even if there's no game. But if there is a game, please sit down!

"Best in the Valley" Awards

Charleston Newspapers annually publishes a very long list called "Best in the Valley Reader's Choice Awards." It is obviously an advertising gimick - at least it's obvious to me, but it seems that many people take it very seriously.

Stanton was telling me that he has received several emails refuting his Weenie Award winners because his choices didn't mirror the Best in the Valley hot dog award winners. I have noticed several businesses that proudly advertise that they were chosen as BITV in their particular discipline.

Some of the the categories are laughably specific and obviously meant to guarantee that the honor would fall to one particular potential advertiser since there is only one such business in the area:

Best Gutter Protection (GutterPro)
Best Neighborhood Restaurant/Bar (Applebees)
Best French Restaurant (Cafe deParis)

Other categories are obviously victims of either low voter turnout or ballot box stuffing, the most glaring of which is "Best Local Band": Kanawha Valley Ringers won honors in this category (for those who don't know Kanawha Valley Ringers is a handbell choir that play mostly for church funtions).

Still another amusing thing, if you take the list at face value, is the incredible level of unenlightenment it would seem to accuse us of. For example, in the category of "Best Delicatessan" Kanawha voters picked Krogers. Or how about Outback Steakhouse for "Most Romantic Restaurant"?

Look over the list. It's good for a chuckle or two.

Devolutuion of The Clay Center?

The site that now holds the $130 million Clay Center for the Arts and Sciences used to be a car dealership. This morning it looks as if it is returning to its former - and some might say more useful - purpose.


Pretty darned expensive car lot , if you ask me.

Gazette Site - Bad to Worse?

I have to agree with oncee, the new format of the Gazette Online is really horrible.
It seems to be getting worse with tweaking in the past week. It probably views OK if you have areally big monitor with the proper display settings, but for a normal home or office computer setup it is just terrible.

I have complained to their webmaster before about other issues and never received a response. I don't think they care about customer feedback much.

Peace Protest: Sponsored by Mercedes?

From last week: This old-school peace slogan is resurrected for the anti-Bush rally in Charleston. This message brought to you by your friends at Mercedes Benz.

Fire at Will Podcast

Will Stewart, our local blogging community's token Neo-Con, has his podcast "Fire at Will" up and running in earnest. Slick and well produced, but just as fair and balanced as his blog posts.

Hear his take on the Charleston u$er fee here.

No Art Today

Patriots for Peace and their $4.20 Fundraiser

I was out of town yesterday and missed the big presidential visit for Shelley's fundraiser, but thanks to DowntownWV I got to see some of the Patriots for Peace protest close up.

After the protest the crowd proceeded to Davis Park for a fundraiser of their own. Looking at the photos in this post I formulated a definite opinion as to how they arrived at the unusual price point for their event; $ four-twenty.

OK, It Passed 3:1 Now What?

According to today's Gazette story,

Jones said he wasn’t really surprised with the results because he did some
polling on the issue last December. People’s attitudes on the fee tended to
correspond with their feelings toward him as mayor, he said.
“The places where I did strongest it did better. A person who is not in favor of my administration did not like the fee,” Jones said. “I would hope the fee would carry every precinct but my strength would be in the hills. We would be weaker in the flats.”

Always the astute political observer, Mayor Jones. Of course it just might be that for people in "the flats" this fee represent a whole lot more to them than those in "the hills." Except for Kanawha City, median income in "the flats"is about $20,000. The fee for those folks represent about a one-quarter of a percent tax. The median income in "the hills" is probably well over $100,000, which means the tax rate for them is less than .052%. Not surprising then how people voted. Disproportionate taxation, when it favors the wealthy, usually gets the vote out in South Hills.

Now what? Here's my prediction. Mayor Jones said last night on Channel 11 news that he definitely would not seek an increase "in this term" as mayor. When the anchor pointed out he only had one year left in his term the mayor quickly corrected him saying "eleven months." In the paper he is quoted as saying “ I don’t know what will happen next year. Fees do go up.”

I would listen for noises about raising the fee to at least $2 in about twelve and a half months.