Things I Can't Understand

I know there are a lot of things that I don't understand. Many of these things are simply outside my field of expertise, like how much thrust does it take for a Delta IV rocket to achieve escape velocity? Some of these things can be solved by a quick Google search. while some are just too mysterious to be solved so easily. Here are few that are on my mind this evening:

Why does Cabell County Schools run TV ads? Do they think they are going to get more students by advertising that they have good teachers? Who pays for the ads? Since I live in Kanawha County I really don't have a dog in the fight, but it seems to me that someone's money is being wasted down Huntington way.

Why does the Charleston Police Department broadcast the location of their DUI checkpoints? Do they just want to catch the stupid and/or uninformed drunks? Wouldn't it be better if people didn't know where they were?

Why does every TV news broadcast have to have a health report? Most of these reports are just fillers, and many of them seem to be better suited for publication in the "Medical Journal of Duh!" (This just in: People who eat large quantities of chocolate are likely to be obese.)

And speaking of TV news, why do we have to see the following reports on every station, year after year?

• Video of reporters standing by the interstate showing the heavy traffic the day before every holiday.
• An interview with a Lowes or Home Depot associate about how they are running out/have plenty of spaces heaters, ice melt, snow shovels, etc. in response to whatever the current weather threat is.
• A visit to homeless shelters the first time the temperature dips into the single digits.
• A reporter shown wiping the snow off of a car where snow has collected a half-inch deep for the first time each season.

But the biggest question I have this evening is the same one I have every January 1: How long into the new year am I expected to tell people "Happy New Year"? Days? Weeks? Months? How am I supposed to keep track of whom I have and have not wished a happy new year? It all gets a little maddening, these holiday traditions.

If anyone has any answers to these burning questions of mine, please let me know.

Oh, and Happy New Year.